Post #9

...nothing is good right now...I went to the doctors yesterday and there was no good news whatsoever. I am deciding to cancel all my future therapy appointments. I have cancer of my mouth. Those bumps turned out to be tumors. But, I also have throat cancer and rectal cancer. That cancer was able to spread through my digestive system. I can't believe I was so ignorant towards everything. The doctors said that it was most likely all the alcohol that I have consumed in my life. My addiction led to this disaster. I am however, willing to live my life to the fullest. The doctors gave me about 3 months to live and those 3 months I will live to the fullest. It's hard huys. I really don't think that I will continue posting. I can't waste time. I astually think this is wasting time. I only started this because of my therapist and that's no more. Sorry you all. I really need to focus for the next few months on what I love in life. It's ok...i'm free of the addiction, but it left its mark. That's life...gotta get used to it!

Its interesting...my last post is my 9th post...that's the number of years that I have had alcoholism...

bye...

Post #8

So I have just gotten back from a typical physical. All the doctor said from his notes was "poor, poor Frederick". That was not a good sign. When the doctor came back in, I was scared to death. The look on his face was NOT a good one. He told me that I, in fact, have cirrhosis of the liver. I also have bumps in my mouth that gave my doctor a scare. The cirrhosis is curable because they saw it early enough, but the bumps in my mouth are another story. Hopefully they are nothing to be afraid of. I have to return to the doctors tomorrow and get them thoroughly checked out. It'll be alright. I know it. Wish me luck!

Post #7

I told you guys that I would not post until after my rehab. Well...here I am. I am done and I feel great. The withdrawal is gone and I am ready to get back on my feet. I am going to get my GED and get that job that I have always wanted. I want to be a mechanic. That pays extremely well. That is going to be a great time of my life. I am very passionate towards cars. I have always loved them and always have been fascinated by them. Anyways...this blog is about the now, right?...nah...I LOVE CARS!!!...anyways...therapy is still going on. This will hopefully seal the deal on my disease. I have to get rid of this. I could be like George Bush. He was once an alcoholic but he has been sober for over 20 years. That is an inspiration. I am going to do this.

Post #6

Alright...I leave on December 22nd (just in time for Christmas). I have not really talked about my therapy sessions and that has been going very well. The therapist says that we are almost done (really have about 3 more months). I am excited though...I only have 11 more days...I really don't want to post until after I get out. I want to make sure that I become more focused on rehab. I really want to get clean. Poor, Poor me. I have to have some sympathy for myself. How did I get this bad? Anyways...wish me luck guys...I need it.

Post #5

Alright guys...I really have nothing important to say. All I have to really say is that I am doing alright. After having this disease for over 10 years, I feel like this is my last year for this monster. This addiction is not an easy one; no addiction is easy to overcome. I have been going through withdrawal, and it was extremely difficult. I can't wait though, to get back to real life and look for a REAL job. I only have about 13 more days.

Post #4

Alright...I decided to not really post anything for a while. I really wanted to see how I have done since the last time I posted. Let me tell you, this rehab is not easy. I have gone through many withdrawal symptoms. I have been feeling nauseous, insomniatic, anxious, and haven't eaten well. I do however, think it is working. I feel like I can live my life sober. Maybe have a drink here or there. NO...hold on...I got to stop myself there. I am here to stop this. I CAN do it. I am really getting the hang of how life goes here and how I can stop this addiction from ever ruining my life again. Luckily my parents came through for this rehab price. As I have already said, the cost for the therapist was not cheap. I love my parents and I do not know how I could live without them. Since everything looks promising for me so far, I feel like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I have only a two more weeks left and I am ready to make it worth the money. I can't let my family down and I can't allow myself to quit. I have to get through this. I will.

Post #3

Here I am at rehab. We get about an hour to use the computer. Because I am so into my addiction, I have to stay over night. It is expensive, but it may be worth it. I like it so far. We have "class" twice a day to stress that dangers of being an alcoholic. It is not cheap, but I think i'll be alright. This is really needed and it is supposed to work. I don't know. I am in the dark. Did I make the right choice?